An insane thing just happened to me on the tube home from school today. I got on a carriage and noticed a transvestite/transgendered person standing near the door. Sitting just on the other side of the plexiglass divider, literally inches away, was a group of teenagers falling about the place. Specifically there was a girl shrieking with laughter, looking at the person (who, as I mentioned, was standing about 3 inches away) and then shrieking again, saying, "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!" Technically, her friends were more laughing at her but they were still carrying on and making a scene that was obviously focused on this person. I was listening to my iPod, so it took me a couple of seconds to clock what was going on. When I did, I turned off my Fresh Air podcast, went over to the girl and very calmly and non-confrontationally said, "Are you okay? Because you're making a lot of noise. Do you have a problem or something?" She just sort of sputtered a bit, obviously surprised and embarassed to be called out. Her friend looked really pointedly at her and said, "No, we're okay. She's just being childish," to which I replied, "Yes, she is." I went back to where I'd been standing near the person and said, "I guess they don't let them out very often."
I was pretty upset the rest of my journey and started thinking that I should have been more forceful, so there would be mistaking my disapproval of their behaviour. So as I was getting off the train, I went over to the girl again and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself. You have been very offensive and very rude." She seemed surprised at that, too, and it made me feel a bit better. The best thing, though, was that walking along the platform, I heard two guys talking about it. One said, "I can't believe those kids." And the other said, "Yeah, I'm so glad that woman said something."
It's been about an hour now, but I'm still feeling quite emotional. I am so angry at those horrible kids for thinking that they have the right to make someone feel bad like that. I feel proud of myself for standing up and trying to stop them. I feel pleased that other people noticed my little show of heroics, but I'm disappointed that no one else said anything to the kids. Mostly, I hope that girl is ashamed and that she never forgets how it felt to be embarassed in public.
It's all been a bit much; I'm going to drink some juice and have a lie-down.
I was pretty upset the rest of my journey and started thinking that I should have been more forceful, so there would be mistaking my disapproval of their behaviour. So as I was getting off the train, I went over to the girl again and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself. You have been very offensive and very rude." She seemed surprised at that, too, and it made me feel a bit better. The best thing, though, was that walking along the platform, I heard two guys talking about it. One said, "I can't believe those kids." And the other said, "Yeah, I'm so glad that woman said something."
It's been about an hour now, but I'm still feeling quite emotional. I am so angry at those horrible kids for thinking that they have the right to make someone feel bad like that. I feel proud of myself for standing up and trying to stop them. I feel pleased that other people noticed my little show of heroics, but I'm disappointed that no one else said anything to the kids. Mostly, I hope that girl is ashamed and that she never forgets how it felt to be embarassed in public.
It's all been a bit much; I'm going to drink some juice and have a lie-down.
1 comment:
I said this already, but I was really proud of you for that! You demonstrated a principle we used to do in karate in this "frozen statues game." One person would set up a person or group of people as statues, representing a difficult scene they'd experienced or witnessed. Often it was quite emotional; e.g., people would re-enact scenes where they were bullied or hurt. Then participants were invited to make tiny tweaks to the scene to change the equation.
I remember once when I set up a scene from junior high, where a bunch of girls in gym were standing around me and making fun of the way I stood. I didn't have a single friend in that gym, and I just stood there quietly with my arms across my chest, hurting. Well, I set up the "statues" to re-enact that scene, and the first person who tweaked it moved the arms from across the chest and down to the side, and straightened the shoulders, and widened the stance, etc. That was nice because the statue representing me looked stronger.
Then the next person took someone else and moved her behind "me" and slightly to the left, close but not to touching, just a presence behind my shoulder. And I started to cry because of the way that would have changed everything, to have one friend at my back, "backing me up."
ANYWAY, that's a long-winded way of saying that I think that's what you did for that person on the tube. You were the one person willing to be at his/her back. And that's a powerful thing!
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