Our Glamorous Life

Last week’s mention of Pete Burns reminded me that I promised to write something about our (sort of) encounter with the Rolling Stones. So here it is:

A couple of weeks ago, Matthew got a package in the post containing tickets for Martin Scorsese’s Rolling Stones concert film “Shine a Light” and booking info for a hotel in Soho. It seems that he’d entered a competition online and won. The premiere was the next night, when he was scheduled to work, so there was a bit of worry that he might not be able to get off and we’d have to give the tickets to someone else, but his boss got very excited and let him off (on the condition that if possible, we give Charlie Watts a hug). So we went to the premiere along with loads of other celebrities – ha!

Actually, there were lots of celebrities there. We had pleb tickets and so got ushered in pretty quickly, but they were showing the red carpet on the big screen in the cinema so we got to watch as each mildly famous person stood blinking under the barrage of flashbulbs. The woman “hosting” the red carpet portion of the evening asked all the celebs which was their favourite Rolling Stone – most said they love them all and couldn’t possibly choose, except for Liam Gallagher, who staggered up looking very drunk and unkempt and said he liked Brian Jones best. Which was pretty funny. Considering the quantity of celebrity, the quality wasn’t very high. They were mostly British television and music personalities; Matthew was impressed (and not completely in a good way) that I was able to identify a girl who is famous for a) being the daughter of an actor, b) dating the brother of a singer, who is himself a television actor (and the singer has a TV talk show, too), c) wearing very “edgy” clothes at fashionable places and thus getting her picture in the papers, and d) being in a futuristic kung-fu show in which she had purple hair and a pair of magic gym shorts once owned by the Buddha (but I don’t think that’s gone anywhere).

We got several looks at the Rolling Stones, both on the red carpet and because, while the celebs were upstairs in the balcony so they wouldn’t have to mix with the regular folk, the band walked right past us as they went up to the front to introduce the film. Actually, if our seats had been slightly worse (a couple of rows back and farther to the side), they would have walked right past us. As they went past, Mick said, “Not too much making out in the back, please” and the superfans around us thought that was the funniest thing they’d ever heard. If I think about it, though, it was probably the funniest thing ever said directly to them by a member of an iconic rock band, so fair enough. Up to this point, we were quite entertained. However, then we had to sit through the film.

To be fair, it was pretty entertaining as well. However, I think this was mostly down to being in a really big cinema with a really good sound system, surrounded by people who were really excited to be watching, so that it felt at times like we were actually at the concert. Several times I found myself almost clapping at the end of a song. But I don’t think I would watch it on TV at home. The most interesting parts were the archival and behind-the-scenes footage and there wasn’t much of it. And although I was impressed by the band’s physical stamina at their age, it did drag on a bit.

Some other impressions:

They are all really tiny! They aren’t very tall and most of them are wraith-thin – Keith Richards is the only one with even a hint of an old man potbelly. Mick Jagger was wearing shiny patent leather platform sneakers. I wondered if they might be orthopedic to deal with the havoc all that jumping around and twisting might have done to his back, but I now think they might be because his girlfriend is about 6 inches taller than he is.

Speaking of Mick Jagger’s girlfriend - she is a professional stylist, yet all his stage outfits looked like they came from the ladies’ resort section at Kohl’s department store. He wore black satin trousers (very slimming) and a burgundy shirt with pintucks down the front, which he took off to reveal a black t-shirt with subtle sequin details, which added just a touch of sparkle.

I thought Keith Richards looked a little bit like a grandpa - if your grandpa were actually a Berber tribeswoman. He had so many things tied in his hair or dangling from his belt, I thought I could hear him jingle when he moved, though I guess that could have been his old bones and dried-up, leathery internal organs.

Charlie Watts could be a vampire. He certainly looks like one and have you ever seen him in the daytime?

Anyway, we had a good enough time at the film and then spent the night at a nice hotel and had a big breakfast (included with the room) the next morning. We definitely like staying in hotels in town – it’s like traveling without all the hassle of actually going anywhere.